Sermon: When Darkness Surrounds Us
From Wellington Cathedral of St Paul
6 June 2010, am
Bishop Richard Randerson
- Lamentations 3:14-24
- Galatians 1:11-24
- Matthew 14:22-33
Which of us was unmoved by the words of Emma Woods when she spoke of the death of her 4-year old son Nayan, tragically killed by a car in Christchurch that spun out of control. She said of little Nayan: “We had had a perfect day at Playcentre, played lots of games together, and had a good time at the mall. I have no regrets about that day – we had fun together”.
And of the young driver of the car: “We are pretty clear we don’t want this to be the defining moment of his life. He is young, only 17. He has got his whole life ahead of him and we hope he will use it to do good things, to be good with people, and maybe eventually to be a good father”.
Emma’s words are an astonishing statement of wisdom and generosity in the midst of unimaginable grief. She has drawn on the deepest resources of the spirit, while acknowledging the extent of her loss and the pain she will feel through long years ahead. Her loss is one that can come to any of us. “In the midst of life we are in death”, says the Prayer Book
Last week in the first of three sermons I referred to what Matthew Fox calls the Via Positiva – moving away from a religion dominated by an emphasis on sin and evil to one that celebrates positively the blessings God has given us in Creation. We allow God’s love to flow through us so that life is lived passionately with a sense of joy and fullness.
But not all of life is celebration, light and joy. Life has also its dark side, as Nayan’s death makes clear. We know the reality of suffering, anger, grief, violence, disease, mortality and fear. The darkness can envelop us in several ways:
• through tragic events such as the death of a child or spouse, loss of a job or friendship
• through a life-threatening illness which confronts us with our own mortality
• we may be a victim of violence, or some significant act of evil or injustice
• recognising our own failings, not coping with the pressures of life, not handling our relationships as maturely as we would like
• the fear of the unknown – journeying into a future we do not understand, and feeling alone.
Often we cope with such dark realities by trying to deny them or cover them up:
• in a similar case to Nayan’s, a man once told me of the death of his daughter in a road accident, and how he was now praising God that she was safe with Jesus. I wondered what he had done with his grief.
• we don’t talk about serious illness or our fear of dying, and thus isolate ourselves from the love of friends.
• we often maintain a facade of perfection, of coping and being in control. Such facades deny us the opportunity of mutual support with others by sharing day-to-day concerns.
The stiff upper lip tradition remains strong: “I’m OK”, “keep smiling”, “everything’s great”, even when we know it isn’t. To deny the dark side of life is to deny an essential reality in human existence. By denial not only do we create more pain by repression and bottling things up, but worse: we miss the opportunity for growth.
When we encounter the darkness of life, what Fox calls the Via Negativa, several things can help:
1. Remember that God is with us in the darkness as well as in the light. The powerful words of Psalm 139 (read vv 7-12) remind us that “the darkness is not darkness with You: darkness and light to You are both alike”. We can also remember the creativity of darkness: children grow in the womb, seeds in the earth.
2. There’s often no answer to the question “Why?” Be comfortable with not knowing the reason for everything, or not seeing clearly the way ahead. God is mystery, and no images or creeds can fully describe God. To experience God is to experience mystery, the unknown.
3. Yet in the midst of mystery there is the experience of God’s love and light. Faith in God does not mean that we are spared the dark side of life: faith is rather the confidence that God is with us as we encounter the dark. When darkness surrounds us, the only way out is through, and God is with us as we make the journey.
4. Good things can emerge out of pain and suffering – a deeper appreciation of the simpler things of life, compassion for others, and the development of wisdom, strength and inner character.
5. The healing and wholeness God offers us is achieved when we put ourselves in God’s hands, embrace the darkness, enter into silence, face the loss, experience the pain, meet the mystery.
Being able to let go of the things that give us security in life is not easy. Health, happiness, fulfilment, good work, parents, children, spouse, friends are all part of the joys of living. We celebrate them as the gifts and blessings of God. They offer us security and identity, so that when one of them is threatened our very life and being are threatened. Yet the Christian faith has always taught that our ultimate security lies only with God. In Lamentations 3 we read “God has filled me with bitterness…my soul is bereft of peace” but later “the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases”. Human pain and divine love intermingle.
When we cease to cling to lesser securities we allow God to catch us. Today’s Gospel (Matthew 14.22-33) illustrates this dramatically. The disciples were stricken with fear as their boat was tossed by a great storm on Lake Galilee. They saw Jesus walking across the water and Peter, letting go of the threatened security of the boat, stepped out on to the water. He tried to support himself but started to sink. At that point he reached out to Jesus, who held him. So it is with us. There are times when we need to let go of human security systems and allow God to hold us.
In facing the Via Negativa, prayer and silence assist us to practise the presence of God. We open ourselves to God, turn our suffering and anxiety over to God, experience the mysterious presence of God’s love, and let God’s healing power flow through us. It is God’s presence that sustains us in unknown or risky situations – entering surgery, accepting some great grief or loss, approaching death. As Jesus said on the Cross: “Lord, into your hands I commend my spirit”.
Many who have been through such times report that they were able to cope because of their experience of not being alone, that God was with them in the darkness and the unknown. This reality lies at the heart of our faith. To walk in the dark, putting ourselves in the hands of God, is the way to wholeness, growth and new life.
